Strange religious ceremony rules.

Religious ceremonies are strange. They celebrate the death of a really old one (+80 years) like that person’s long life didn’t matter enough, and mourn the death of a kid the most like he had given a lot to them. And calling it the first death anniversary after 11 months of someone’s death really goes above my head.. Why eleven months here when we don’t celebrate someone’s first birthday after 11 months of birth??

People be like- It’s been an year since she is gone.

I am like- No..Not really.. How can you adjust one whole month into it??

According to me, exact dates have special significance, be it of birth or death or anything else, and one cannot just percieve an event to have happened one month earlier than it actually happened, if that event is really important to someone.

Another thing..Why people wear dull clothes on someone’s death?? I mean, it feels like a mandatory rule and if you do not abide by it, you are a socially unacceptable weirdo culprit. I wonder, do people really go for shopping keeping in mind that somebody is about to die or purchase clothes for that particular purpose?? I cannot have that much negativity in my mind while buying clothes. Moreover, it’s more about what one feels in the soul, the grief and mourning, than what one is capable of faking on that particular occasion or day. Loss of a life is a lifetime grief and missing that one on many occassions rather than a 13 days, one month or 11 months process that you follow by rules and then forget that person like they never existed.

All in all, social norms are really strange to me. They are usually followed strictly by those who do not know themselves, their own feelings and are not in touch with their soul, and maybe, not really in touch even with someone they lost.

21 things you probably couldn’t know from my ex.

Things my ex might have never told you:

1. I parallel park the car well.

2. He was not sapiosexual. He actually once said that he did not want this much intelligent girl like me for marriage.

3. I am quite spontaneous when it comes to dates. Wherever you want to go, I am ready to go there even in the middle of a cozy date.

4. I stay anxious for the first 5-10 minutes no matter how many times I have met you or how much comfortable I am with you.

5. I never told him ‘I love you’ in real, or say, face to face. [I have actually never said these words to any single person in real. Just couldn’t.]

6. Non-consensual foreplay doesn’t mean sex. Yup, I never did it. Doing only this much n this way was his definition of sex, not mine, it’s not even considered so generally. And yes, I didn’t even want to do that n he knew it. It was a mistake n there were deeper emotional reasons behind it related to someone else. I was not in love with my ex. I had moved on long before that.

7. I pay equally on dates.

8. I love to give gifts on special occasions.

9. I am too good at pampering my partner. (Sadly, which never got reciprocated).

10. I am a really (and I mean REALLY) good kisser.

11. His friends liked me. My friends never liked him.

12. He used to get more nervous than me while meeting me.

13. He could barely look into my eyes, seriously, never more than 2 seconds. I could see deception in his eyes easily sometimes. AND it was hella irritating to me when he couldn’t talk by maintaining eye contact for even a few seconds. It always hampered communication between us as I cannot talk without looking into someone’s eyes.

14. He was never loving or affectionate towards me. It was only one sided.

15. I tried to make him feel accountable for his wrongs n fought more than I did with anyone else.

16. He wanted to have sex with me, so that I could not be with someone, I fell in love with, after him. He knew about it. I had told him clearly about it. He just wanted to stay as the only one in my life even after treating me like the most worthless person of his life.

17. There was no love for him from my side after I told him that I had moved on (about 4 years ago).

18. We started off being good friends. And he ditched me even as a friend in the first 3 months of friendship only.

19. I am intimidating as fuck in real when I confront someone.

20. He had a lot of inferiority complexes soothing which I downplayed myself a lot and ended up boosting his ego a lot. He always underestimated my capabilities, I over-estimated many of his.

21. He was lowkey proud that I loved him and still made me feel worthless. PSYCHOPATH.

The point of sharing this is that if somebody’s ex tells you shit, you should confirm all that from that person unhesitantly. Why do you think that somebody becomes an Ex if they know someone really well n never lied??

A price to pay to make believe.

“Being bruised by the nectar of love-

Is it possible??”

“I will make everything possible for you.”

That was their love. He could do anything for her, even hurt her, if she could not believe in that possibility. He wanted to make believe.

All the very best.

You put too less of efforts to even catch my attention,

All the best for trying to be a part of my life,

And hats off to you for thinking you will get me

while just being dependent on loyalty displayed by me.

Heights of anxiety-Part 1

When in a video, they cut the centrally chocolate filled volcano cake on a small plate and the chocolate just reaches the edge of the plate,

Do they have any idea how much anxious it makes one feel??

*irresponsible behaviour*

Insignificant mask.

What’s the point in hiding the fact that you people are friends?? Many things are quite clear to me already.

Your behaviour has become more like a transparent mask, making you feel like you are hiding something while I can see through it.

Misuse of concepts to others’ disadvantage.

Education and reading is crucial for one’s growth, there is no doubt in that. But what is more important in taking education is one’s intellect, level of understanding, and sensibility. If these three virtues are not developed enough, education or knowledge is bound to be misused.

For example, somebody told me a couple of days ago, “where the focus goes, energy flows” while keeping me under the veil of his identity. The statement was sounding really out of context and used cunningly to misguide, because WHERE THE INFORMATION RESIDES(i.e. from where the stimuli is released), THE FOCUS GOES THERE if that information is near to somebody in time and space. The FOCUS in such a proximity, that too, imposed proximity, is bound to go there first of all, and it happens because of the Fight or Flight mode activated instantly when a person feels something wrong is happening. So, it is immaterial where the focus is going when one is being given wrong cues to specifically drive one’s focus in that direction by using the language to which one is well acquainted and which is bound to drive the focus to a particular person. NOT SO WELL ARTICULATED THAT CONCEPT, MY DEAR, NOT SO WELL ARTICULATED. I find it very bad on somebody’s part when he/she uses any quote or concept to his/her advantage and to other’s disadvantage without even understanding that concept in its details or as a whole. People should go more in depth of concept and if they won’t, others will use those concepts against them.

Only reading the concepts and memorising them is not sufficient, if one is going to use them wrongly to confuse other people, GRASPING the True Meaning of Concepts is more important and only when one understands that meaning, one can apply it practically.

Stone hearted?

Honestly,

Call me stone-hearted ass

But about it I don’t care

Because I know that’s what I become

After my immense love is taken for granted

Mind manipulated

And situations converted to my agony.

But believe it or not

I can feel others’ feelings

But I don’t want to do anything about it

Because I know if I will do

That will just put us all through the same hurricane

From which we all got out

After so much time, difficulty and pain.

FOUND WITHIN ME..

“Right in the middle of chaos,

When the eyes lose their dreams,

When the mind will be shattered,

When the soul will feel like flying away from your body,

When the blood will be cold,

When the sun will feel eclipsed,

When the winds will turn into storms,

When the hills will be melting,

When there will be no hope,

I’ll meet you there”, he said,

The one who wants to hold me tight,

And wants to win for me any fight,

with that selfless love,

My imaginary lover;

My darkness would haunt me with these thoughts

The thoughts of my past..

With a hope in my heart

To find hope and love in someone else forever.

There is no mess, storm and darkness,

My blood is free flowing,

My soul is pure,

I am my own cure,

My mind full of light and existence glowing;

I am glad that I found my love,

Within me, for me, forever. ❤

Healing is not easy..

Healing is not easy, moving on is not easy. Your feelings can hit you anytime like a bull hitting you with his horns all out of a sudden. You feel drained again. You feel like fainting, like life should not exist anymore. You don’t feel like doing anything. You don’t even feel like thinking about it anymore but you realize a void suddenly. But it’s okay. You have gone through it before. You can pass through it once again. No darkness can exist for long when you have the capability to shine from within. Just like plants take time to grow, self-love requires time to heal those wounds; you have sown the seeds and are watering them daily, that’s enough for now. You don’t need to see the results right away. You just have to keep going, staying strong.