Lonely

I like it when you are lonely. That is my favourite place for you. When we first meet if you make mention of feeling lonely, or send a self-pitying tweet decrying your loneliness then I am straight on to you. You may as well have taken a knife to your chest, slit it open […]

Lonely

The exact thinking of a narcissist. I have not seen a single victim whose friends or family have not been reached by a narc or whom narc did not surround with his own friend circle. You can actually visualise a normal innocent person standing inside of a circle of a narc’s friends, unable to escape ever. The boundary of the enclosure is adjusted according to the behaviour of the victim. If the victim acts according to the narc, giving him all the narcissistic supply, then the area of the circle is widened, so that the victim can feel like having freedom. But be wary, it is just a false sense of freedom, the victim just doesn’t know where the boundary is set by the narc but slowly and steadily (which may take years) the victim starts feeling that something is wrong, like somebody is pushing triggering buttons and pulling emotional strings when the victim does anything with a free will. Some victims never get to know who that person is. Those who get to know are then discarded by the narc in ways incomprehensible and shocking ways (a different topic) to the victim like a rug got pulled out below the feet. If the victim is impressive to everyone but meek, coy and obedient to the narcissist, this is the perfect dynamic to the narc. If somebody does not show off or others do not know about their achievements, then discarding happens instantly. If somebody is impressive to others and the narc as well, then Love Bombing (a different topic) begins in the initial stages to attract the victim; in the later stages, to pull the victim back into that enclosure of narc and his flying monkeys. Beware, some so-called flying monkeys do not even know that they are being so. Some may be genuine people intricately manipulated by the narc and his similar narcissist allies (different topic). The victims do not get to know from where they are being attacked mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically as well, that’s gaslighting (different topic). Gaslighting the victim inside that enclosure is the perfect dynamic in which either narc can control the victim completely by giving a little bit of attention or affection by himself or by his flying monkeys here and there; or during devaluation the victim is called “crazy” or “psychopath” or “anti-social” or will be called names whatever can work to hit the psyche of the victim to make the victim feel lonely, that too, IN WAYS IN WHICH ANY THIRD PERSON CANNOT KNOW THAT IT’S THE NARC WHO IS SAYING ALL THAT (Hiding his identity during all the criminalistic and psychopathic activities is a narcissist’s biggest trait), and then all those flying monkeys are pulled back in order to make the victim that there is something wrong in their behaviour and to make the victim feel lonely. Even if the victim asks a few of the allies of narc on suspicion of something wrong happening, they try to shun off the victim’s voice and ask “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU??” No wonder the victim will be called crazy for hundreds of times, but Never Publically because that will actually spoil the Fake Image maintained by the narcissist and those who have been helping him under the guise of his fake image will stop helping him for controlling the victim. The whole idea is to control the victim anyhow so that due to loneliness, the victim runs to the narcissist most of the times for support (or to his flying monkeys).

ADVICE:

●Take the cues of being manipulated. Observe when some of your near and dear ones begin to act out of their character that you used to know before.

●Observe keenly before and after what action of whom you get to have reactions from whom and with what tone.

●Observe who jokes in what tone at what time and who questions you about which things (what is unacceptable to you is the key here).

●VERY IMPORTANT: Talk to a trusted family member, as well as a friend, and if possible (which is the best option) talk to a psychotherapist ept in behavioural therapies and who knows about narcissism as well.

●Talk about it openly. Break the chain/circle created by the narcissist around you. Do not trust anyone unless and until somebody tells you the truth that you want to know. Test them by asking about things that you already know and you know that they also know, then you’ll know who is lying and is a part of that circle.

●Do not care about your image. They are still a very few people who maintain a fake image, and you are real. The world is quite big, you will find your tribe some day.

●Once you know who is the culprit and who are the allies, do not change your mind of removing those people from your life. The narcissist never changes as it is an incurable mental disease. Some fluctuations may occur with time and circumstances but that’s about it; the allies are either narcissists themselves, not that much to you though and even in case they are not narcs, they are not your well-wishers, they are narc’s friends, and those who became his allies under the guise of his innocense cannot be trusted as they can be easily manipulated by anyone and as a result can help anyone in manipulating you as well.

●Stay strong. It’s okay to be alone than being in a bad company. Weak people are often found in groups. Even if your precious time got ruined in the narcissistic cycle, it’s still better than ruining your whole life by going back to the same people undeserving of anything from your side.

(First published on 27th sept, 2020)

Do not contain your power !

The worst thing you will do to yourself is to contain your power to soothe other people’s ego. Let them be petty. Let them be miserable. Let them be the complainant. Let them be foolish. Let them be toxic dramatic. Let them be the high-handed in their own world. You can kick their asses without even touching them, just by being yourself, and just by doing you with your whole energy speaking for you. You may think that those you love or loved will appreciate how much you shrink yourself to balm their insecurity and inferiority complexes, but they will not appreciate it. Some of them will say that they never asked you to do so. Some will blame you saying that you could choose different or better. The blame in the end goes to you. Some will say that you did not do enough for them, no matter how tough you were living for them, or they wanted different. How much can you shrink yourself for such thankless petty people?? Why would not you choose yourself rather than those ugly souls?? Hear me clear ! It’s okay to hurt people and be unkind to them if they expect you to contain yourself in a little box, frustrating yourself with all that energy wanting to expand yet trying to explode you in that little space. You do not deserve to explode when you are meant to expand, and trust me, you can expand beyond your own expectations, specially when people around you do not want you to see your worth.

I am freaking powerful and I love it.-Preet

(Published on 30th june,21)

Quote: Afraid of moves

Quote- Creativity..

When you feel bored of the routine life, is the time your creativity hits you hard.

Reel of digital painting (I was just feeling bored..)

(Original publishing date: 17th may,2021)

Anxiety can be a stuck energy in body. How to tackle with it? (Personal experience)

I want to tell you something about anxiety. Anxiety is stuck in my backbone like it’s my life force and I won’t deny that I have to make movements like a snake or twirk or get patted on my back to shirk off that energy, or I can’t live peacefully for even an hour. Either it acts up in holding me in a loop of doing everything too fast and then in eruption of cranky mood, or I can’t do anything because of it feeling paralysed with over-thinking.

Does anything new happens that creates anxiety?? Yes, sometimes. But sometimes, it’s our old energy stuck inside of us that demands release whereas sometimes, it’s our neural pattern that creates similar anxiety in similar situations we face in the present, and sometimes, it’s our thoughts for the future that invite that energy to the fore because we had suppressed those thoughts about the future in the past and now we have to face them.

So, what can we do about it??

1. MOVE: yeah..Move your body, baby. (😜) any way you can. Play, dance, exercise,etc.

2. WRITE/SPEAK: Write or speak whatever thoughts come to your mind. Just blurt them out. Journal/record audio. After some time, read or listen to them and analyse which thoughts are too repetitive and what are their reasons.

3. GET A MASSAGE: Get a good deep tissue massage to release all that tense energy from your body, so that you don’t have to move like a snake randomly while trying to sleep (😌).

4. HYDRATION/PROPER NUTRITION: Last but not the least, have enough of fluids intake. Eat less sugar and salt. Take your nutrition supplements. Eat balanced diet.

5. RELAX: I just mean DO. NOT. RUSH. about anything. Plan and act on it but do not rush feeling like nothing went right if one out of ten things that you planned to do within a specified time gets a little delayed (One of the main reasons of my anxiety 🙄). Don’t be a control freak even if you want to be the controller of your own life only.

6. LET YOURSELF HEAL: Generally, when you are healing from something (be it anything), anxiety acts up over and over again, no matter how much you have advanced in healing. It’s OK. Nothing is wrong with you, it’s quite normal. Give yourself time, healing is always a long journey, and do try to follow above-mentioned points.

Thank you for reading. ❤🙂

Know the difference of bonding.

When an outsider tries to be more important than a family member, you should make it very clear with your words or actions that they don’t mean shit in comparison to your close family member, no matter what and how your bond is with that outsider. You should not make a family member feel abandoned or alienated ever, you may be the only one that they look forward to for support. Outsiders really should know their limits.

(Originally posted on 10th Jan,2021)

Which kind to choose between confusing personalities of males?? (Psychological perspective with layman’s language).

We may get confused between the real nature of people and end up with the wrong one. Here, what matters is how to recognise someone’s personality. This one is for the females who really need to learn the difference between ‘BAD BOY, GOOD MAN’ and ‘GOOD BOY, BAD MAN’.

The Bad Boy, Good Man is a man who will respect you, stay committed to you, will not let you down or try to destroy you emotionally or mentally. He may act errant and childish from time to time by teasing, irritating or fighting with you for no reason, but that’s about it. He will not do that to manipulate you or to feed his ego but only because he needs to learn better behaviour or that kind of childishness is in him by nature that makes a part of his core personality. There is nothing much wrong in that. To err is human. To be errant is a part of every single person’s personality. He is teachable. He will have his shit together or he will try his best for that. Even at his worst, he will not use others to make him whole.

The latter one-Good Boy, Bad Man is someone you need to keep a distance from or say goodbye to, as soon as you can. This kind of a man is cunning by nature but behaves like a good boy displaying very good behaviour or acts like he is teachable but only as long as you keep feeding him with your energy, your good behaviour, your time, affection and love. He makes you and everyone feel that there is nothing wrong with him. He is a very well-mannered person. But, it’s all a facade. He does that to hide his inner ‘bad man’s character. When you stop or even take a break from or be unable to feed him with what he and his ego desires, he will start manipulating you. He will not think twice before cheating. He won’t commit to you ever. He will stay present in your life but only to control you because his inner man’s nature is inherently evil. He will not hesitate from disrespecting you, that too, when you did not do that much of a blunder or were just being errant like a girl (bad girl, good woman nature), and to disrespect you he may even cheat upon you and put all the blame on your behaviour which was quite normal as ‘to err is human’ and will never take the responsibility or accountability of doing wrong(s) to you. He will mostly use others even as a friend but will act right only when every single thing is going on according to his desires, wishes, whims and caprices. This kind of a man’s nature is inherently evil but he will always act like a good boy/good man in front of others.

Though these are not the only categories. There are ‘bad boy, bad man’ and ‘good boy, good man’ as well. But those personalities are quite easily observable yet they are not easily found. The real confusion happens between the two described above. I hope this will help someone.

Animal lovers..Know the difference.. 😌

Always be kind to animals; they cannot talk about their needs to you..

But remember, not to be kind to human guised animals, who keep shitting on others, for their needs, and on you..

21 things you probably couldn’t know from my ex.

Things my ex might have never told you:

1. I parallel park the car well.

2. He was not sapiosexual. He actually once said that he did not want this much intelligent girl like me for marriage.

3. I am quite spontaneous when it comes to dates. Wherever you want to go, I am ready to go there even in the middle of a cozy date.

4. I stay anxious for the first 5-10 minutes no matter how many times I have met you or how much comfortable I am with you.

5. I never told him ‘I love you’ in real, or say, face to face. [I have actually never said these words to any single person in real. Just couldn’t.]

6. Non-consensual foreplay doesn’t mean sex. Yup, I never did it. Doing only this much n this way was his definition of sex, not mine, it’s not even considered so generally. And yes, I didn’t even want to do that n he knew it. It was a mistake n there were deeper emotional reasons behind it related to someone else. I was not in love with my ex. I had moved on long before that.

7. I pay equally on dates.

8. I love to give gifts on special occasions.

9. I am too good at pampering my partner. (Sadly, which never got reciprocated).

10. I am a really (and I mean REALLY) good kisser.

11. His friends liked me. My friends never liked him.

12. He used to get more nervous than me while meeting me.

13. He could barely look into my eyes, seriously, never more than 2 seconds. I could see deception in his eyes easily sometimes. AND it was hella irritating to me when he couldn’t talk by maintaining eye contact for even a few seconds. It always hampered communication between us as I cannot talk without looking into someone’s eyes.

14. He was never loving or affectionate towards me. It was only one sided.

15. I tried to make him feel accountable for his wrongs n fought more than I did with anyone else.

16. He wanted to have sex with me, so that I could not be with someone, I fell in love with, after him. He knew about it. I had told him clearly about it. He just wanted to stay as the only one in my life even after treating me like the most worthless person of his life.

17. There was no love for him from my side after I told him that I had moved on (about 4 years ago).

18. We started off being good friends. And he ditched me even as a friend in the first 3 months of friendship only.

19. I am intimidating as fuck in real when I confront someone.

20. He had a lot of inferiority complexes soothing which I downplayed myself a lot and ended up boosting his ego a lot. He always underestimated my capabilities, I over-estimated many of his.

21. He was lowkey proud that I loved him and still made me feel worthless. PSYCHOPATH.

The point of sharing this is that if somebody’s ex tells you shit, you should confirm all that from that person unhesitantly. Why do you think that somebody becomes an Ex if they know someone really well n never lied??

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