QUOTE ANALYSIS..

Be kind, because you don’t know what somebody is going through in their life.

Please give upon the idea that somebody has to suffer in other areas of their life, so that the mental leeches can pause their toxicity from affecting that person. Reading “Be kind, because you don’t know what somebody is going through in their life” just feels like you are begging narcissists and psychopaths to pause their non-sense or give someone the permission to live. No ! This is really wrong. Actually, “be kind or not to anyone but don’t be unkind to anyone for no reason” should be abided by as a norm. Narcissists and mental leeches do interfere in anyone’s life and talk shit about anyone’s life for no reason because it gives them cheap thrills. One really doesn’t have to ask them to stop doing that non-sense. It’s in their blood, in their psyche. Their soul is evil. They won’t stop for the sake of humanity. They will pause their shit because you asked them to give permission to someone to live their life, and as it will enhance their ego, they will stop for a while and continue with their psychopathic behaviour again when they will see that person living their life normally. Envy comes natural to such miserable people. So, this kind of words never work with narcissists, psychopaths, mental leeches, and energy vampires. And no ! They are not going to change for you, for your words, or for anyone. They are mentally sick to the point of being criminals, and that’s about it !

Lock me up with the door open-Lockdown 5.0 in India.

Strategies of lockdown 1 and 5 could be better but nope! We are disorganised as always.

Why don’t they just make it very simple that testing is compulsory and those who have got tested for covid-19 can move around freely?

Should have begun testing with the most crucial industrial and agricultural sector parts (testing done by government recommended) alongwith that of private companies involved in supply of goods and transportation, right during the initiation of lockdown one. Then the employees in administrative branches could be tested so that offices could be opened up by lockdown 2 or 3. And finally the educational institutes could be opened up after compulsory testing of all the teaching staff and students right from day one of the new session, maybe alongwith testing of their parents.

Malls, cinema halls could still wait to be opened up. What was more required was a workable goods delivery system rather than letting people roam around such sites freely.

And what was the need to open up worship places?? Does that money go to government in any way or praying together in the very close proximity is going to stop the spread of virus?? This may happen to be the biggest downfall in their strategy.

But okay.. Good organisation or management is not this government’s forte, trend shown time and again.

(Originally posted on 31st may,2020)

THINK ABOUT IT.

Who is toxic and victim player??

AND ON THE TOP OF IT, if you complain or expose them, they say that you have been playing the victim and are the toxic one because you have created a scene and have been talking shit.

Here, you are not ‘playing the victim‘, YOU ARE THE REAL VICTIM which a NARCISSIST WOULD NEVER ADMIT TO.

The SHIT you are talking about is actually THE SHIT THE NARCISSIST IS AND THE SHIT THE NARCISSIST DID TO YOU.

The TOXIC ONE is the NARCISSIST who did that toxic shit to you sneakily and you just talked about the TOXICITY. Talking about toxicity does not make anyone toxic.

Last but not the least, when you bring out about the toxicity of a narcissist to others, you are bound to be called the toxic one and the victim player and the negative, crazy one. But remember this thing, a narcissist will always be the last one to look crazy. It’s always the victim who looks crazy but actually it’s the narcissist who is doing everything crazy behind the scene. AND when you look crazy to everyone, the narcissist will behave like the victim telling everyone that you have always been toxic because now he knows that everyone has seen your crazy side and nobody has seen his toxic side, and thus it’s very easy for him to actually play the victim.

ILLUSTRATION: think about a criminal who did hurt or committed grievous hurt to someone and started calling the victim a criminal who is playing the victim just because the victim complained about the criminal and is angry and crying and exposing him in front of everyone.

Now, take that criminal in the civil settings and the hurt or grievous hurt as the psychological one. YES ! NARCISSISTS ARE PSYCHOLOGICAL CRIMINALS SOME OF WHOM ACTUALLY ARE ALSO THE REAL CRIMINALS WHO HAVEN’T GOTTEN CAUGHT YET.

One love stays with you forever.

Some people really think that why I don’t move on or try with someone new.. There is a very very deep reason. I actually moved on. I thought that I’ll never think about him ever again. In those times I was just numb to feelings. I became really logical as well as triggered. I was not feeling like myself for months. It’s not that I never tried. But someone doesn’t get out of your mind n soul. It’s not even ego that is making me hold onto him. It’s something, just there, right from the times when I even didn’t know that I had any feeling for him in the first place. It is not going anywhere. What do I do?? A few people try to influence me against it through posts on pages. And seriously, it annoys me to the core.

I had tried to move from the last person (before him) by dating one person who was really good, caring, marriage material. I even got physical with my ex to move on from him. That time also I couldn’t because I was feeling passionately for that one.

But then, whom I love came to my life out of the blue. Honestly, I was keeping a good distance from him. I didn’t want to fall in love ever again. And even he wasn’t interested in making me feel anything like that. But with friendship and affection, I started feeling very close to him. I was constantly denying myself that it was getting deeper because I, somehow knew that I would hurt myself at some point if I would feel anything else that friendship and affection for him. But I was feeling something else.

And when we got physical, even then for a few days I was in denial mode. Seriously, I couldn’t handle how intensely we made those moments. They might not be too much for many others, including him. But it was a lot for me. But still I was denying myself about its depth for a few weeks. I didn’t get what.

But now when I have tried every single fucking thing to move on. I don’t get it what is the problem with people who are just into talking against it. Why can’t you see someone loving someone else truly. Yes, for now, it is in words only. But my words come out from the depths of my soul. It’s too difficult for me to accept my own feelings being highly rational generally, leave alone being expressive about them. If I am being expressive about my feelings, it is something even I still cannot describe in words. It is much more than that.

Now, what do I do?? Try with new people, faking it all, wasting mine and their time?? I think it would be too selfish to do. So, I usually avoid anyone who may have interest in me, because I know that I won’t be interested in them in that sense.

What do I do with what I am feeling in my heart and soul?? I am taking my time. I am not forcing anything. I just want him to feel what I feel, that too, not forcefully, but by being a little expressive. I think that when I am not doing anything out of ego or to get him. I am doing this because things got fucked up last time because I stifled my feelings that time. I waited a lot, even gave up, but it has come up again in me. It really means that it had never gone. I had just become numb to my own feelings, also because I had lost my bua, I was traumatised and could only get triggered and could stay hurt. I was not in touch with my soul, my ego was saving me. Now, I am in balance, and I really want to see it will go where and I am hoping for a beautiful outcome. I am taking my time and putting my energy only where I want to and need to. I really don’t need unsolicited advices, specially those that go against my inner voice.

I don’t know healthy relationship. I have never been in one. That is why I am working on myself, so that I can have a wholesome relationship with someone I truly love. I don’t want anything toxic in between us. I am working on my triggers. A few friends may as well have observed that I have changed my behaviour a lot compared to what it was before. I am not faking it. I am working on it.

Quotes (for you)..

Projection of neediness on the other person.

One thing I never do is to say it out loud that “I am the one you need” to any of my partners (past, present or prospective). I leave it on the other person to realize it or miss out on it. There is a lot of projection and manipulation in this phrase. Usually, the needy one tries to make the other feel needy of them and saying it quite loud is manipulative because then the other person really gets confused and somewhat begins to think the same way when this sentence is repeated too many times. It’s manipulative to say the least because it feels suffocating to be called what you are not (needy here) and being forced to be attached when you are not that attached. It’s a way to unnerve the other person or to try to make them look weak to themselves and to try to be a fake strength or help for them. You can understand by now that it’s a way of over-exaggeration of one’s importance in another’s life to hide one’s own weakness and neediness.

“If you don’t feel that way about anyone certainly, do not let them say this to you. Make it quite clear to them that you are not the needy one; maybe they are. And if you too are the needy one, then that’s a different thing. But still, if you don’t keep on saying this to them, then they also shouldn’t. Be very clear to others where and how you are needy, and where and how they are projecting their neediness on you. “

Which kind to choose between confusing personalities of males?? (Psychological perspective with layman’s language).

We may get confused between the real nature of people and end up with the wrong one. Here, what matters is how to recognise someone’s personality. This one is for the females who really need to learn the difference between ‘BAD BOY, GOOD MAN’ and ‘GOOD BOY, BAD MAN’.

The Bad Boy, Good Man is a man who will respect you, stay committed to you, will not let you down or try to destroy you emotionally or mentally. He may act errant and childish from time to time by teasing, irritating or fighting with you for no reason, but that’s about it. He will not do that to manipulate you or to feed his ego but only because he needs to learn better behaviour or that kind of childishness is in him by nature that makes a part of his core personality. There is nothing much wrong in that. To err is human. To be errant is a part of every single person’s personality. He is teachable. He will have his shit together or he will try his best for that. Even at his worst, he will not use others to make him whole.

The latter one-Good Boy, Bad Man is someone you need to keep a distance from or say goodbye to, as soon as you can. This kind of a man is cunning by nature but behaves like a good boy displaying very good behaviour or acts like he is teachable but only as long as you keep feeding him with your energy, your good behaviour, your time, affection and love. He makes you and everyone feel that there is nothing wrong with him. He is a very well-mannered person. But, it’s all a facade. He does that to hide his inner ‘bad man’s character. When you stop or even take a break from or be unable to feed him with what he and his ego desires, he will start manipulating you. He will not think twice before cheating. He won’t commit to you ever. He will stay present in your life but only to control you because his inner man’s nature is inherently evil. He will not hesitate from disrespecting you, that too, when you did not do that much of a blunder or were just being errant like a girl (bad girl, good woman nature), and to disrespect you he may even cheat upon you and put all the blame on your behaviour which was quite normal as ‘to err is human’ and will never take the responsibility or accountability of doing wrong(s) to you. He will mostly use others even as a friend but will act right only when every single thing is going on according to his desires, wishes, whims and caprices. This kind of a man’s nature is inherently evil but he will always act like a good boy/good man in front of others.

Though these are not the only categories. There are ‘bad boy, bad man’ and ‘good boy, good man’ as well. But those personalities are quite easily observable yet they are not easily found. The real confusion happens between the two described above. I hope this will help someone.

Problem with good emotions.

My problem is that I may tell you that I love you and then would like to stay alone but when I would like to be with you I won’t even say a thing.

Some people cannot handle good emotions at first and I am one of them. It’s because they never or barely got to experience love. So, it feels over-whelming when they get to experience it.

21 things you probably couldn’t know from my ex.

Things my ex might have never told you:

1. I parallel park the car well.

2. He was not sapiosexual. He actually once said that he did not want this much intelligent girl like me for marriage.

3. I am quite spontaneous when it comes to dates. Wherever you want to go, I am ready to go there even in the middle of a cozy date.

4. I stay anxious for the first 5-10 minutes no matter how many times I have met you or how much comfortable I am with you.

5. I never told him ‘I love you’ in real, or say, face to face. [I have actually never said these words to any single person in real. Just couldn’t.]

6. Non-consensual foreplay doesn’t mean sex. Yup, I never did it. Doing only this much n this way was his definition of sex, not mine, it’s not even considered so generally. And yes, I didn’t even want to do that n he knew it. It was a mistake n there were deeper emotional reasons behind it related to someone else. I was not in love with my ex. I had moved on long before that.

7. I pay equally on dates.

8. I love to give gifts on special occasions.

9. I am too good at pampering my partner. (Sadly, which never got reciprocated).

10. I am a really (and I mean REALLY) good kisser.

11. His friends liked me. My friends never liked him.

12. He used to get more nervous than me while meeting me.

13. He could barely look into my eyes, seriously, never more than 2 seconds. I could see deception in his eyes easily sometimes. AND it was hella irritating to me when he couldn’t talk by maintaining eye contact for even a few seconds. It always hampered communication between us as I cannot talk without looking into someone’s eyes.

14. He was never loving or affectionate towards me. It was only one sided.

15. I tried to make him feel accountable for his wrongs n fought more than I did with anyone else.

16. He wanted to have sex with me, so that I could not be with someone, I fell in love with, after him. He knew about it. I had told him clearly about it. He just wanted to stay as the only one in my life even after treating me like the most worthless person of his life.

17. There was no love for him from my side after I told him that I had moved on (about 4 years ago).

18. We started off being good friends. And he ditched me even as a friend in the first 3 months of friendship only.

19. I am intimidating as fuck in real when I confront someone.

20. He had a lot of inferiority complexes soothing which I downplayed myself a lot and ended up boosting his ego a lot. He always underestimated my capabilities, I over-estimated many of his.

21. He was lowkey proud that I loved him and still made me feel worthless. PSYCHOPATH.

The point of sharing this is that if somebody’s ex tells you shit, you should confirm all that from that person unhesitantly. Why do you think that somebody becomes an Ex if they know someone really well n never lied??

LOGICAL PRESUMPTIONS.

If you are happy on somebody hating another,

You are stupid; (none of them has anything to do with you)

If you are jealous of somebody loving another,

You are weak; (one of them has definitely nothing to do with you)

If you are envious of somebody’s self-love,

You are an undiagnosed psychopath. (Nobody has anything to do with you)