Masked..

Sweet from the outside,

Poison in heart n mind..

Friendly n fake from the front

Envy n enmity in cues I find..

Convincing my mind- Speaking Up.

A lot of the times, I have to make my own mind convinced that those who have not studied Law, don’t get the Principle of Things as much as those who have studied it, and those who have not studied psychology really cannot understand the tactics of manipulation, realness and worn mask for Image Maintenance; And those who have studied both, really know the means and effects of PROVOCATION.

So yeah, people can Bitch about me behind my back, take the wrong side all the time or be toxic to me despite me suffering the dirty mind games of someone else, Still, in the end, I find contentment in that my Character is much much stronger than anyone’s fake image.

Anyone who has studied n has experience in both of these can straight up tell the difference.

And, coming onto social and peer pressure, I am an acer at standing alone and against the crowd who doesn’t get the principle of things.

If even after me suffering from mental turmoil and offended boundaries and being Provoked continuously, anyone is going to call me Toxic for reacting to the Shit a Bitch was throwing at me, those who Bitch behind my Back are also the same Toxic Bitches, they never know better and are only happy in their own Delusioned Little World of Fake Ass Shit !!

Nevermind ! I know how to handle such Bitches who first waste my time and energy and then ACT like the Goody-Good to gain validation and sympathy only, when I try to return their Trash Energy. ALAS ! returning that toxic shit is too Taxing on my mental n physical health. I am sure that such a Bitch has nothing important to do in her life, but My Every Single Minute Is Valuable as only I know what it entails to me.

(Original posting date: 20th april,2021)

Which kind to choose between confusing personalities of males?? (Psychological perspective with layman’s language).

We may get confused between the real nature of people and end up with the wrong one. Here, what matters is how to recognise someone’s personality. This one is for the females who really need to learn the difference between ‘BAD BOY, GOOD MAN’ and ‘GOOD BOY, BAD MAN’.

The Bad Boy, Good Man is a man who will respect you, stay committed to you, will not let you down or try to destroy you emotionally or mentally. He may act errant and childish from time to time by teasing, irritating or fighting with you for no reason, but that’s about it. He will not do that to manipulate you or to feed his ego but only because he needs to learn better behaviour or that kind of childishness is in him by nature that makes a part of his core personality. There is nothing much wrong in that. To err is human. To be errant is a part of every single person’s personality. He is teachable. He will have his shit together or he will try his best for that. Even at his worst, he will not use others to make him whole.

The latter one-Good Boy, Bad Man is someone you need to keep a distance from or say goodbye to, as soon as you can. This kind of a man is cunning by nature but behaves like a good boy displaying very good behaviour or acts like he is teachable but only as long as you keep feeding him with your energy, your good behaviour, your time, affection and love. He makes you and everyone feel that there is nothing wrong with him. He is a very well-mannered person. But, it’s all a facade. He does that to hide his inner ‘bad man’s character. When you stop or even take a break from or be unable to feed him with what he and his ego desires, he will start manipulating you. He will not think twice before cheating. He won’t commit to you ever. He will stay present in your life but only to control you because his inner man’s nature is inherently evil. He will not hesitate from disrespecting you, that too, when you did not do that much of a blunder or were just being errant like a girl (bad girl, good woman nature), and to disrespect you he may even cheat upon you and put all the blame on your behaviour which was quite normal as ‘to err is human’ and will never take the responsibility or accountability of doing wrong(s) to you. He will mostly use others even as a friend but will act right only when every single thing is going on according to his desires, wishes, whims and caprices. This kind of a man’s nature is inherently evil but he will always act like a good boy/good man in front of others.

Though these are not the only categories. There are ‘bad boy, bad man’ and ‘good boy, good man’ as well. But those personalities are quite easily observable yet they are not easily found. The real confusion happens between the two described above. I hope this will help someone.

21 things you probably couldn’t know from my ex.

Things my ex might have never told you:

1. I parallel park the car well.

2. He was not sapiosexual. He actually once said that he did not want this much intelligent girl like me for marriage.

3. I am quite spontaneous when it comes to dates. Wherever you want to go, I am ready to go there even in the middle of a cozy date.

4. I stay anxious for the first 5-10 minutes no matter how many times I have met you or how much comfortable I am with you.

5. I never told him ‘I love you’ in real, or say, face to face. [I have actually never said these words to any single person in real. Just couldn’t.]

6. Non-consensual foreplay doesn’t mean sex. Yup, I never did it. Doing only this much n this way was his definition of sex, not mine, it’s not even considered so generally. And yes, I didn’t even want to do that n he knew it. It was a mistake n there were deeper emotional reasons behind it related to someone else. I was not in love with my ex. I had moved on long before that.

7. I pay equally on dates.

8. I love to give gifts on special occasions.

9. I am too good at pampering my partner. (Sadly, which never got reciprocated).

10. I am a really (and I mean REALLY) good kisser.

11. His friends liked me. My friends never liked him.

12. He used to get more nervous than me while meeting me.

13. He could barely look into my eyes, seriously, never more than 2 seconds. I could see deception in his eyes easily sometimes. AND it was hella irritating to me when he couldn’t talk by maintaining eye contact for even a few seconds. It always hampered communication between us as I cannot talk without looking into someone’s eyes.

14. He was never loving or affectionate towards me. It was only one sided.

15. I tried to make him feel accountable for his wrongs n fought more than I did with anyone else.

16. He wanted to have sex with me, so that I could not be with someone, I fell in love with, after him. He knew about it. I had told him clearly about it. He just wanted to stay as the only one in my life even after treating me like the most worthless person of his life.

17. There was no love for him from my side after I told him that I had moved on (about 4 years ago).

18. We started off being good friends. And he ditched me even as a friend in the first 3 months of friendship only.

19. I am intimidating as fuck in real when I confront someone.

20. He had a lot of inferiority complexes soothing which I downplayed myself a lot and ended up boosting his ego a lot. He always underestimated my capabilities, I over-estimated many of his.

21. He was lowkey proud that I loved him and still made me feel worthless. PSYCHOPATH.

The point of sharing this is that if somebody’s ex tells you shit, you should confirm all that from that person unhesitantly. Why do you think that somebody becomes an Ex if they know someone really well n never lied??

Never a misunderstanding.

Some unfaithful and cheating men/women be like “you/they don’t understand me.”

“We, the stable minded people, do understand you Baby Girl/Baby Boy. We understand what you are doing. We understand that you do not have the maturity in you. We understand that you do not have good self-control and we do understand that you are just trying to play with other people’s minds and emotions dependent upon your own fickle-mindedness and selfishness. Believe me, we do understand you really well.”

The only stance.

If they measure your love based on how much jealous/sad/negative you can/do feel without them or due to their actions,

Then, first of all, pity on their mentality;

Secondly, they shall go to hell.

Miss__communicated.

Honestly, I am more disappointed with myself rather than disappointed with him for taking him as having good intentions at last, despite knowing the reality of his character for years.

Some dynamics stay the same,

Don’t blame the events,

When energy can be nothing but the same,

Forgiveness is a good virtue

Not for those having no sense of accountability

Or who just like to slip away

without any apology

They are toxic

No matter if you wanted to keep them close

Or if you did let them stay away.