Do you ever feel like you have totally changed?? Like something died inside of you and something else is being born. You feel so weak for months and then day by day you start realizing that you have grown stronger than ever. You can bear a lot but at the same time you won’t allow anyone to hurt you, deceive you, betray you or make a fool out of you. You still have those good values that believe in humanity, brotherhood, integrity, etc. but you have become so dignified that almost nobody can shake you?? You don’t feel needy anymore. You don’t crave anything anymore. You don’t have care about what bad intentions anyone can have towards you. You just don’t care. You don’t care about who is thinking what about you, who is misunderstanding what about you, who is trying to figure you out, who is trying to mislead you, who is trying to guide you in the right direction, who is leaving you, who is trying to tarnish your image; you simply don’t care about anything. Literally about nothing and nobody. You don’t know where you are going but still in your heart and soul you can feel that you are going somewhere very beautiful; towards a very peaceful, successful and love-filled future. Something that feels very powerful, very transformative. You start crying out of nowhere, your body shakes and shivers out of nothing, you feel empty, you feel all the emotions at the same time, anxiety kicks you so hard, your heart keeps breaking over and over again, you feel mentally disturbed a lot, you feel like nothing is working and then when you really hit the rock bottom and feel like you have lost everything like your life has ended, it has no meaning, you are useless, you don’t know what to do, you have your plans but still you don’t work for them, you start remembering all of your traumas and count all of your failures and remember all the lives you have lost in your life, and then suddenly you go silent, completely silent. That silence guides you. It makes you flow with the universe. It works as a form of surrender. But then you begin to send affirmations to the universe about what you want, how you want it, and exactly at what time you are going to get it. And, it starts happening. You suddenly begin to work on yourself. You don’t even care if you are depressed, happy, angry, sad or whatever, you just don’t care. You become so strong mentally that you begin to think that whatever will happen I will handle it.
You are born to learn a few lessons at different points in your lifetime, thus you may go through all this every single time. The stronger and older your soul, the harder your lessons will be.