It’s okay if you do not like to talk about social issues on social media all the time uselessly i.e. just whining and complaining about what’s going wrong and still being unable to do anything about how it can be corrected; also, it’s okay to do it. There is no thumb rule as to what you have to talk about and what not. You may be a chatterbox on social media and still like to stay alone without talking to anyone in real, or quiet and unrevealing on social media yet a very open-minded and open-hearted person in real. You may be deconstructing and strategizing, thinking about public issues minutely in your mind, yet not revealing a thing to anyone, or you may just be sharing what’s already given everywhere yet not going anywhere with it.
Just do what you feel like doing, you have been given right to freedom of speech and expression for a reason and nobody shall stop you directly or indirectly from using it.
ONLY THOSE WHO ARE AFRAID OF YOUR VOICE TRY TO SHUN IT.
It’s okay if you go crazy after a couple of day over and over again. Your mental illness needs to be addressed. You do not need to fake anything just to look like the stable one. People have your back and you know that, right? You need to share everything wrong you did in the past with a psychotherapist because you or any of your friends may not be a professional, so, won’t be of much help to you. Also, avoid talking to a personally known therapist, you may again fake everything. It’s crucial to be authentic while releasing the past from the mind.
I have to write this here because you have been giving me hints of your craziness indirectly. Or you may talk directly to me about your issue if you do not want me to write here.
Do you ever feel like having a very open conversation with someone from your past(5 yrs) about why you could not let them come close to you.. ? why did you hate them.. why can’t you ever trust them? what dark secrets you are hiding from everyone.. ? almost everyone..but you cannot tell.. because that one will blame you again for everything or maybe spill the beans to a group or two or maybe will loathe you whole of your life about those secrets secretly…..
And somehow those secrets make you hate yourself but they were the reason behind all that for you; because you were not in the mind to choose better behaviour for yourself that time??
I hope one day you get somebody to whom you can open up your heart and mind like that completely.