“And now begins the game of Triangulation.”
I was wrong to call a pure narcissist a toxic empath when I can see clearly all the aspects of narcissism in the same person. Triangulation means comparing two people in which the one who is praised is used by the narcissist to demean the other person when that ‘other person’ does not adhere to the stupidity, toxicity and malicious behaviour or demands of the narcissist. This is done to lower the self-confidence of one of two people compared. You will mostly see a narcissist jumping from one person to another, praising highly one person one day and when that same person gets to know about the narcissist’s malice and call out about it or expose that behaviour, then that person is met with the Tactic of Triangulation.
I create and create,
They think I hate,
That must be some anger
For the numbing tragedies of my fate
Whereas I know only how to love
I am profoundly peaceful to others
Though you might hold its symbol dove.
In the end, I have no regrets,
I did what I could do,
I felt what I could feel,
I expressed what I could,
I behaved how it was allowed,
Now it’s my time to heal.
Burning in the paradise of self created ecstasy,
They shed their horns but wiggle their tail at their romanticism created, driving others crazy.
I live with a sense that my ancestors reside in me,
If I will be living it with malice, jealousy, competition, untruthfulness, and ill-will against anyone, I will ditch not only my own conscience, I will ditch them all.
Also, if I will let that happen to me, I will disrespect them all.
Because in me lives my whole clan, I have to take care of that.
May they always be my guides and guards. I will always pay them regards by living well and having a good mind. 🙏😇
Karma said, “I take your intentions and actions, together as well as separately. I take my time. I notice you doing everything, thinking everything. I am neither negative, nor positive. Some people relate my name to a punishment. But I am much better than that. While I have given the worst punishments, I have also given great rewards; I give you what you deserve. You may forget what you do but I will make you realize what you did when the time will be right. Nobody praying for anything to go for or against anyone else in the name of Karma is going to get their desires fulfilled just because they prayed that way, infact I will consider their prayers as their intentions and will put the same kind of vibe in their life, so that they can understand what they did. The person prayed about will get only what they put efforts or thoughts for. I make everyone realize everything and it’s upto them to take the lesson or not. When they learn something from me and let go of the desire to fight against it, I move to other lessons. The thinkers, the doers, in every sense, have to get back what they give to the universe. Even when you die, your soul will get everything back in the future lives. Choose to live wisely. There is no escape from me. Generally, I am neutral, don’t be afraid of me, be afraid of yourself and your deeds, or do everything good and right for yourself and others to love me and yourself.”
Going through all the pain I have earned only self-respect and learned only gratitude. The pain that I can’t even explain, just tears start flowing through my eyes any time, like literally I have not cried this much in my entire life like I did this year. Something in me has finished so badly but I know something very good has begun to grow. I have gone through tranformation phases many times in my life but this one is one of its kind. My body shakes a lot like I can literally sense my old energy leaving my body. That stuck energy that used to tolerate a lot of shit. That energy had the sense of inadequacy all the time despite achieving many things. That ‘Not Good Enough’ energy. That energy that had traumas of many family members’ death, family abandonment, many physical ailments, loss of relationships and friendships, depression of more than two decades. That energy that used to feel that I deserved whatever I was going through. The energy of complete worthlessness of good things in life.
I had such a great fear of losing people that I could put up with any kind of behaviour, any kind of manipulation, narcissism, that despite knowing the truth I was always apologetic just because I did not want to lose someone. The problem was that nobody taught me how to love myself, I was the unwanted child who was always conditionally loved.
But now, I am letting go of all that energy. I am letting go of all the people that ever made me feel like I had to put up with their any kind of shit just for the sake of keeping a relationship or a friendship. I know my worth. I know what I am, what I want to be, and what kind of people I deserve in my life and to get all that I will always use my ways, be it silence, be it pure love or be it arrogance or cruelty. RIP to all the dead relationships and friendships. There is not a single person on this earth that can make me into anything, shake me or break me. I am thriving on my Karma !! And I am so so grateful to the universe for all those experiences; because of them I have gained this much Strength and am transforming into a Someone New.