An advice for Alpha females for marriage..

I want to give an advice to young women/girls who want to get married at some point in their life. Actually, there are many points that I want to discuss under this topic and you may also find many advices online as well as offline regarding marriage. But there is one point that I want to put some light on which is often ignored while considering a life partner.

If you are a woman who is ambitious, takes her own decisions, works her ass off, is a go-getter, and is a provider, in short, the one who has most of the qualities of an Alpha Female, you need to see the family structure of the man if you are interested in him for marriage or life partnership or relationship. I am saying this because I have seen this pattern a lot in society that when and if the females of the family in which a man has grown up, did not work in office, and were by nature-submissive, coy, and silent, that man is going to want the same from his life-partner sub-consciously. It doesn’t matter how much educated or modernised he became, the years (decades) of mental training he got from his family sub-consciously is not going to change even if he finds the otherwise for himself consciously. He would want you to be the same meek and coy woman. Your boundaries will be aggressive to him. Your desires and ambition will make him feel insecure and he would like to impose his dogmatic thinking upon you just like his family’s females were pressed upon and taught to abide by the thinking and orders of the men in his family. He cannot comprehend that you can Think and Do better than him. His insecurities will start acting up whenever you will point out at his flaws, even if done politely. He may even be envious of your work and power because he was conditioned in his psyche’s developmental stages that women are not the Alpha and are meant to be protected and guided only. He may point at your frankness as rudeness. For him, submissive silence is elegance and speaking your mind will be needed to be in a controlled manner according to his dictates.

There will be, most of the times, power struggle between you two because you are an Alpha female and he may feel powerless because of that, so he will try to over-power you to soothe his ill-conditioned mind, and then there might be fights, manipulation and even separation between you two.

What do you think-is it better not to engage with such a man or is it better to engage and then be forced to leave in the end?? Or you can be ultra-submissive just like his family’s females and give upon your own power and capabilities and ambition to soothe his fragile ego??

(PS: Don’t come here with your feminist or anti-feminist mentality regarding this post. It’s about a particular kind of a man. The propositions may be relative to patriarchy but I did not point out at that. This advice is solely for alpha females who also love with whole of their being, so, kindly, do not come with the contention that love is adjustment and all. Those are different topics. I intended to write exactly about a very small fraction of possibilities.)

Thank you for reading. 🙂

Know the difference of bonding.

When an outsider tries to be more important than a family member, you should make it very clear with your words or actions that they don’t mean shit in comparison to your close family member, no matter what and how your bond is with that outsider. You should not make a family member feel abandoned or alienated ever, you may be the only one that they look forward to for support. Outsiders really should know their limits.

(Originally posted on 10th Jan,2021)

CHANGED CRITERIA FOR A LIFE PARTNER.

One thing people don’t get is how much I have changed..and how much my needs around a partner have changed.

If I ever said that I don’t care about looks of my partner, it has changed now. Looks matter a lot to me now. AND anybody wearing a Turban is a big NO. Don’t get offended by this. I have literally nothing against Sikhism. Actually, all the males in my family used to wear a Turban, So I never get attracted to anyone like that. It’s something in-built. It’s a straight turn-off, no matter how good looking, smart and intelligent that guy may be, it will never attract me in the sense of a partner. Plus, I want equally good-looking or at least a smart looking and a fit guy. I am working on my fitness. I look good. I want the same, plain and simple. Attraction is the first thing we need in a long-term partnership, and I would deceive myself and the other person if I would waste time in making anyone comfortable in thinking that I am interested in them or if anyone would try to impose himself on me whom I don’t find attractive. Moreover, I have a particular face type and shape that attracts me a lot. It’s mostly a very masculine type. Sooo, the feminine behaving and long hair types should stay away.

If I ever said that money doesn’t matter, it does now ! I want someone who has more or less equal amount on money in person, and/or regarding family. About 1/3 or 1/4 money can fluctuate being up or down from either side. FYI, my family is already millionaire according to US currency and euros, both. A few DUMBFUCKS who don’t have enough money always think that I am trying to find a millionaire bcz I am gold-digger whereas those dumbfucks are actually the real gold-diggers and I was just looking who actually had more or less similar amount of money. It is required because I want to enjoy my kind of lifestyle with my partner, rather than attracting a gold-digger who doesn’t know how to manage his money or his family business, whatsoever, and would always keep an eye over my money. I don’t want to deplete my sources, I want equal investment from both the sides in everything.

If I ever said that degrees and education does not matter, it matters now. To take one degree, one has to spend years of their life and a hell load of brain power, which, who do not possess them cannot understand. Those dumbfucks actually make joke of the degrees and education just because they themselves could not get them, because these things require more brain and least DRAMA. Believe it or not, formal education really enhances a lot of knowledge and skills. I don’t want any half learned person to be with me to whom I will have to teach the very elementary things that they should have learnt in school or in first degree college. I will frustrate the hell out of me if I would do so. It shows in people’s behaviour how well educated they are. Also, it shows the most when you hold a one-to-one conversation with them how highly educated they are. Many fail at even one good conversation. I don’t want to be with someone with whom I cannot even talk on my areas of interest i.e. law, psychology, science, geography and/or political science (remember political science, Not Politics. There is a big difference between the two). He may be educated in any stream but should be well-educated and well-qualified, otherwise, there is a big NO.

Apart from that I want a good family of in-laws who are not backward that they think that my would-be husband would be having an upper hand over me. I want a family that would treat us both more or less equally. I get that initially every family is cautious with a new member’s arrival in their family and cannot trust completely and it takes a lot of adjustments to reach a place of equality with their son for their daughter-in-law. But, there is a big difference between making adjustments and their decisions being pressed upon me all the time. I love my freedom. Compromises can be made but I will not give upon my basic nature ever.

Other things-behaviour, trust, love, and loyalty, I have talked about them a lot of the times.

Yeah, last but not the least, I want someone well-mannered and that who does not taunt underhandedly through his good manners. That shit really gets on my nerves when someone tries to sound smart but really is not. Good manners and straight talk will always beget the same from my side and I won’t settle for less than that. Elegance looks good on me, and I want the same from my partner, and not much diversion from that in both of our behaviour.

SUBSTANCE: I WANT SOMEONE MORE OR LESS JUST LIKE ME.

Would you delete your social media account??- A VIEW-POINT

A post has been making rounds all over the social media platforms which asks “would you delete your social media account for your relationship??”

First of all, why is anyone so desperate to make someone delete the social media account?? It sounds quite fishy. Who doesn’t like to be entertained in the free time?? Is it really a benchmark to prove one’s dedication in a relationship. I think not. It’s actually quite manipulative to even ask such a thing. If the relationship is strong already, then social media should have nothing much to do with it.

Secondly, even if the one who has been asked to do so, deletes his/her accounts, what is the probability that the person who has asked about it is going to do the same?? Some people just want to control others with such difficult and impossibly set standards. The person asking or expecting this from their partner may as well make fake accounts, cheat on their partner all the time and expect their partner to stay oblivious about it.

It makes very little sense other than that.

Gone are the day when it was quite easy to live naturally, without having a presence on the internet. Even if one stays away from it for a long time, still, at some point of time, one may need presence over some web platform.

To be honest, mostly it is done by a narcissist to control their partner. Narcissists roam around freely, even on the internet, confining their partner in a very little world of happiness that they show them. It is all fake. They cheat on them but do not want their partner to know about it. So, they show off their partner as an ideal dedicated one who kept their relationship above everything else, so that their(narc’s) ego may get boosted as a result of having such an ideal best partner in front of the others and side-by-side their lurking into and tresspassing into others’ boundaries keep on happening without ever being caught by their partner.

Don’t fall prey to such stupid words. They don’t mean a thing. More importantly, if something doesn’t feel right, you do not need to do it and if your choices sabotage the relationship, the problem is the weakness of the relationship, not your choices which are quite normal according to your contemporary times.

Deal breaker of relationship !

If my would be hubby is not going to do this with our baby, we are not marrying. 😋😌😜

Click on the link: Spiderman Baby Video 😀

My kind of man..💜

The kind of man who looks like he is gonna eat you up whole in one go but behaves like he is gonna respect you for the rest of your life…..

That thin line..😂

My extremes in relationships are I WILL WAIT AND LOVE YOU TILL ALL OF YOUR EXES SETTLE DOWN IN HAPPY RELATIONSHIPS AND YOU MOVE ON FROM THEM COMPLETELY WITH THE AFFECTION AND ASSURANCE I KEEP ON GIVING YOU BECAUSE I KNOW I AM STRONG AND CAN BEAR EVERYTHING FOR THAT ONE OF A LIFETIME LOVE I HAVE FOR YOU AND WHICH I FEEL IS GOING TO LAST TILL ETERNITY

and

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?? YOU MUST BE THINKING THAT YOU ARE THE UNFORGETTABLE KING OF THE WORLD BUT YOUR PETTY ASS NEEDS TO KNOW THAT YOU LITERALLY MEAN NOTHING TO ME. GO TO HELL !

And there is a thin line between the two which I reach after a long time of keeping patience and forgiving for way too many times.

Glad in the end..

I didn’t know intensity

And compassion from the other side,

until I got to know you;

and no matter how much I hated you for years in the past

for leaving me,

these are the virtues

that I have found only in you;

I am not saying this because I want something,

It’s just a way of gratitude

for I got to know somebody like you.

Gaps.

And I can’t press upon this enough,

Some people really need to stop poking their nose in what’s going on in my life

Or in what’s going on in his life,

Even if you will manipulate a situation

To push him away from me

Towards somebody else..

Do you think you will get me in the end??

No !

Stop trying to fulfil your motives of breaking a connection that really exists.

Even a gap between him and I

Cannot fill a gap between me and you.

Kinda irony, kinda paradox.

Kinda feeling like not giving a single fuck,

Kinda feeling bad about both the guys (her bf n my love),

Betrayers think that loyal ones are fools

And by this thought, they prove themselves to be the biggest fools.