A lone wolf is my spirit’s drive,
Embracing my wilderness,
Claiming my authenticity,
Silent, calm and compost and scarcely seething angry,
Working all alone,
I am sure some day I will meet the one,
Honest, righteous and success hungry,
Whose frequency matches with my vibe,
I will meet the one from my own soul tribe.
(First published on 5th March, 2020)
How poor in karma one has to be
that you are eaten up by your own envy
trying to get me under your control
each time failing miserably
and then trying to be god
to someone n anyone who has the same ill-will against me
to make them stand in competition
despite knowing fully what it entails to you in the end
yet your ego binge eats on my life
by being obnoxiously competitive burning with envy
staying in your incurable narcissistic misery.
Kill or be killed for you
Kind of a person.
(Original publishing date: 05 Dec, 2020)
Honestly, I am more disappointed with myself rather than disappointed with him for taking him as having good intentions at last, despite knowing the reality of his character for years.
Some dynamics stay the same,
Don’t blame the events,
When energy can be nothing but the same,
Forgiveness is a good virtue
Not for those having no sense of accountability
Or who just like to slip away
without any apology
They are toxic
No matter if you wanted to keep them close
Or if you did let them stay away.
My sleeplessness and nightmares are in constant battle
Of ‘which state is painful more.’
I am in this habit
Of sitting in toilet for as long as it becomes unbearable the stink
So that I realize for how long I have been sitting on shit
And that it’s not the place to keep sitting on
Flush it off
The same in life be it.
My mind works as an ultimate planner,
My deepest desire to die as young as possible
To get rid of that shit filled world
To get out of this worldly chaos
People inflitrating others’ life
just to give them a hit on the head or on their psyche a hold
I plan in my headspace to go on
An adventure to turn into a misadventure
Solo flying high for one last time
Not opening the parachute
And then deep in the ocean with the last dive,
Feeling my every breath leaving my body
Suffocating myself to my last breath of this suffocating life
Ending every kind of strife
Feels so good my ultimate plan to die.
I know you are getting attracted to me,
Way too much,
Just like I am,
Craving for your touch.
I am not difficult
I have just learnt it the hard way that
People make you do things
Then blame you for doing the same things.
So, I just don’t mend my ways to their demands,
May they consider rude my reprimands.
Silly though, they don’t know what they themselves want,
But want you to adhere to their wishes..
Not sorry, I say not obliged to your demands.
When their judgements don’t stop about your thoughts,
You have to stop your thoughts about their judgements.