Very proudly, the difference is certain.

I can say this with full confidence that there are more than 15 people who have grave enmity and envy towards me for no reason else than I am being myself and pick myself up from anything that they never could do for themselves, people whom I don’t even consider existent now and whom I helped the time(s) when nobody else did and to whom I was kind to when nobody else was. But here lies the difference between low-vibing fake ones and high-vibing someone.

(From 31st march,2021)

My personal obsessions.

Do you have strange attractions or obsessions for certain things/objects??

I have a few of them apart from the water bodies, mountains, sky and nature in general. Here is the list,

1. Different kinds of money notes- From Rupee one to any amount of any currency, I feel like having all kinds of notes.

2. Buttons– I just love fancy buttons; colourful, sparkling, glittery, smooth, coarse (I mean different textures). The more diverse, the better.

3. Gems, Crystals and stones- Almost all kinds of gems; more than that crystals and crystal crockery is love. Stones generally which can be found on the river bank or sea shore, having different textures and colours. Transparent ones are the most attractive. I don’t like sea-shells though (eewwww, why would you carry a part of an animal with you??).

4. Sparkles– The stationery glitters and sparkles. I guess many people love that.

5. Colours– Not on anything but powdered colours, as simple as that. The more diverse, the more brightly hued, the better.

6. Flowers and herbs– All kinds of flowers are lovely, red roses are my most favourite though. I want to have my own botanical garden having a varied amount of herbs and flowers in it.

7. Stationery products– Honestly, it’s hard to stop myself from buying a stationery product whenever I go to the market or anybody from my family goes to the market. How can I not like a beautiful eraser, pen, pencil or notebook?? I have had a lot of notebooks and I still have this obssession of using a new one for writing something new.

8. Schedulers– I love to manage time and I love to have a few different kinds of schedulers for all of my activities. They range from exercise and food to work and study, in terms of days,calculating everything in terms of hours,days, weeks n months. I am literally obssessed with planning, organising and managing time and energy.

9. Lights– Be them colourful or white, I just love lights and lighting instruments, from simplest ones like a lamp made of mud to the fanciest ones like a big chandelier full of crystals.

Couldn’t think of other obssessions yet.

Oh yeah..Obssessed with my partner, in case I have one. 😜

Not a stalker.

I don’t keep on stalking anyone

Unlike these dumb women do,

When my intuition hits me hard that something is going wrong

Only then I try to find the cue.

Know the real deal.

It’s good to be co-operative,

But not that much that you turn your back towards your enemies or haters as an invitation to them to stab you,

Even if it’s just a filthy talk,

You never know who hates you and for what reasons,

thus once you notice any red flag,

I hope you don’t try to turn it into a white flag of peace,

Or try to be a dove in front of a hawk.

Curious about spirit animal.

Is it necessary that you can have only one spirit animal??

Isn’t it possible that you carry a diversity of animals in you based on how many times you have re-incarnated??

Apart from re-incarnation, you still share DNA similarities with a lot of species, does not DNA affect the spirit? If it does, then do not you carry the spirit of all those animals??

You carry various emotions at the same time with a dominance of a couple of them at a particular time which may mostly be denoted by a particular animal but does it really mean that you cannot be something else unconsciously??

Tactic of Triangulation used by narcissist.

“And now begins the game of Triangulation.”

I was wrong to call a pure narcissist a toxic empath when I can see clearly all the aspects of narcissism in the same person. Triangulation means comparing two people in which the one who is praised is used by the narcissist to demean the other person when that ‘other person’ does not adhere to the stupidity, toxicity and malicious behaviour or demands of the narcissist. This is done to lower the self-confidence of one of two people compared. You will mostly see a narcissist jumping from one person to another, praising highly one person one day and when that same person gets to know about the narcissist’s malice and call out about it or expose that behaviour, then that person is met with the Tactic of Triangulation.

Internal conflict.

A part of me feels guilty for being this much privileged,

A part of me really grateful for the same,

A part of me wants to be of immense service to others,

A part of me too emotional

In search of love fulfilment,

digging all the parts’ grave.

Personal Blog- Volcanic Temperament.

One of my biggest problems is that when I get bored, I get too bored. Literally nothing can satisfy me. It’s not a kind of mood swing. I just need something to do, apart from my normal and then I feel like there is nothing apart from my normal. And, it usually happens when I miss somebody. Anger and frustration gets mixed up, and I feel highly energetic and it becomes almost impossible to release that energy, both mental and physical. In such a situation, either I become impulsive doing anything and everything I want to say or do, or become repulsive to every single thing and person, doing nothing at all, thinking nothing, feeling just like a zombie. Generally, I have a good self-control but when I decide to lose it, this moment arises. But the thing to remember here is that the moment is temporary but what I say in those moments is something that I have been keeping to myself for way too longer than required; high self-control is to be blamed here for that. It’s like my temperament is like a volcano.

Toxic people and their delusion.

Toxic people live in so much of delusion that if you know what they are doing or you try to know to save yourself or somebody else from their toxicity, then they make you or try to make you feel like the culprit. It’s like a criminal blaming the police for making an investigation against the crime to know the identity of the criminal. Truly, this kind of psychopathy has no end or cure. It can only be controlled, that too, only if the toxic person(s) wants to improve upon himself, which actually is very rare. If toxic people can improve upon their nature, then it means that they have to know their reality first, about which they are really paranoid because it may lead them to expose their own hidden weaknesses to their conscious mind, which is generally unlikely to happen on its own. They just don’t know that they are wrong about something or they know but do not want to admit it. Again, fear of exposure of their personality’s weaknesses is the reason. Where a normal person tries to find out his/her weaknesses and tries to improve upon them or take help, professional or otherwise, toxic people always hesitate from taking professional psychological help; they always think that their behaviour is casual or normal, which is far from the truth and thus delusional.

Toxic people’s basic strategy applicable to various situations:

Take the garbage- Wrap it up- Place it out of anyone’s reach- Act like it does not exist.

But, it exists ! The garbage is there. Sooner or later, it begins to stink and either the toxic person begins to get irritated because of it or somebody else begins to smell it. That smell is the subliminal cues or red flags. Until it is known to somebody else, the toxic person begins to get irritated of that (his own psyche), and needs somebody to blame for it. That is why it is highly likely that toxic people cannot live alone for a long period of time. They are always needy.

(That begins the new topic of neediness that I do not want to talk about in this post.)

Him and I, From a wolf tribe.

A lone wolf is my spirit’s drive,

Embracing my wilderness,

Claiming my authenticity,

Silent, calm and compost and scarcely seething angry,

Working all alone,

I am sure some day I will meet the one,

Honest, righteous and success hungry,

Whose frequency matches with my vibe,

I will meet the one from my own soul tribe.