And if I say one more time
I need some time
I feel I will lose you again
So I wear a smile
Not having a word to say
I can’t make you wait
I can’t get you now
I can’t let you go
I can’t make you stay
So just a smile I can give away.
I know there are many who want you
And I can’t do anything
Even if I stay
I think you will go away.
When I think of you
I remember the past
when I was helpless
the way I am now
I can’t even say
what I have in my mind,
Just want to win upon demons in my own mind.
Depressed soul like me is not meant for you,
I am trying to give upon my dark side
my shadow side.
If that love even begin
I want it to stay forever,
I can’t handle anymore
the repetition of the past ever.
Just in case I will have to lie,
I will just use a smile,
For what’s going on in my mind
I need to keep it to myself for a while,
For I know that you will help
And I don’t want to feel like a burden
I want to be happy,
Though not all out of a sudden.
Sometimes, I think I complicate things,
But then feel that I am just simplifying,
Though I know I am very strong
But half of me is dying.
This on and off is ripping me apart,
I don’t know what to say what time,
I feel the pull with a certainty,
The push also has a message sublime.
This feeling makes me so anxious,
How do I put my sanity at stake again,
I don’t want to feel like a burden,
I want to meet when on my own
I’ll be happy again.