Is it a Loner’s Syndrome?

Why do I find it so difficult to be happy. I struggle not because something is wrong, I struggle because I am afraid to be happy because whenever my hopes rise, I fall down again so badly, be it in any sphere of my life. Even if I feel everything is getting better, I begin to feel anxious, being uncertain about the outcome is some other level in that. Everything that has to happen will unfold in its own way, that’s the universal flow but I am always confused whether to go with it or not. Things are falling at the right place but my fear or anticipation of something wrong to happen eats me up. Why can’t I live normally. Watching my love, family and friends happy brings me so much of joy. Also, whenever I am on my own I am so much at peace. It’s only when I think about being dependent on somebody for my happiness is when this fear arrives, I feel like they will leave and that happiness will vanish soon. Also, I feel guilty of being happy, I don’t know why. Sometimes, I feel like I manifest my own unhappiness in relation to others, though I really want to be completely in connection with someone. “What can I do to get out of this ‘loner’s syndrome’? the term I have just thought of..” “Why is it that I am at my mental best when I am at my emotional worst and at my mental worst when I am at my emotional best??” Seems like I am my own enemy.

Author: Angry Bird

A dope soul and deep mind with a hot temper.

3 thoughts on “Is it a Loner’s Syndrome?”

  1. Although I am a typical loner in my daily life, my awareness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice has prevented me from feelings of isolation.

    Albert Einstein

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You sound….human. In fact, you sound like a human who is very in-tune with their emotional intelligence and while that can suck at times — I’m the same way — you’ll probably find it helps you in the long run.

    The old saying, “Do something every day that scares you” is not a bad one to live by. It helps you gain perspective and erases a lot of small fears.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hehe.. Thank you so much for your mindful words. Indeed, a person who likes to stay alone most of the times, finds it difficult to be with another person but one has to do it if one knows that it’s going to make one happy, as you summed it up pretty well with that quote.. 🙂

      Like

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